one might say we're banned from that church
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize