White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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