I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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