If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
