Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
