stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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