Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
