We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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