I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
