And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
