Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
