I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
