It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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