Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
