so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize