Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
