I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
