I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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