Fuck appropriateness.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
