considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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