Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize