as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
