the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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