ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
