She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
