hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize