To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize