Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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