we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
