Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
