I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
