End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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