And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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