I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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