Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize