if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
