Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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