whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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