I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize