i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
