the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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