clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
