We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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