it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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