Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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