Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize