I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
