my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
