I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
