It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
