MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize