Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
