I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
