Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
