the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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