Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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