I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
