I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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