Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
